Why is it that the best writing I have done is for the erotic novel? I didn’t even mean to start an erotic novel – it was just … there… and now when I look at all the writing I have done over this month… well it just makes me laugh (and kind of sad really). This project was meant to be a hobby, something to cheer me up and get my mind off other things. And, for the most part, it has been… I have 3 distinct novels started and 2 more back stories that may get their own novels… and somehow – the most well formed story I have is an erotic novel??? It couldn’t have been the psychological thriller? Or the funny, sweet, yet interesting, murder mystery? nooooo- it had to be the erotic, has nothing to do with anything but sex, kink, sensuality and fun… It wasn’t even meant to have a PLOT! But somehow it does… This is what Anne Rice must have felt like while writing the Beauty Series (now don’t get your panties in a bunch – I KNOW I’m no Anne Rice – but seriously – while she was writing the Beauty Series she had to think, “damn – when did this become a novel and not just a fun distraction?”  To be honest I have hundreds of fun little erotic short stories hidden away… none of them really have a plot outside of the scene that I am writing about… sigh… what is it that they say about tigers?

This is a series of several blog posts in one. Because the blog is set up to put the latest blog on the top – I thought it best to post all of these together so they could be read in order (so that they make some sense).

Writing whatever comes to mind

If there is one thing I have learned this month with NaNo (and to be honest there are a lot of things I have learned this month) it’s to write what ever comes to mind. Some of the things that I write have nothing to do with anything – at the time – but hopefully when I edit I will find a place for them.

And if I am being honest… I have 3 distinct novels going at the same time… 2 more that could either be back story or 2 more novels. Since I did not prepare for this endevor I feel that this is better then I could have asked for. In December I am going to separate them – do a few collages (thanks to my Mom for all the awesome magazines) – and actually organize them.

My latest rant was about cravings. Because in August and September I had the weirdest food cravings…

Cravings

Last week I was working with DKL and we were talking about food. He mentioned that he liked to put hot sauce on his pasta… I was SO relieved. I had been thinking for the last few months that I was insane. In August I started eating things that can only be described as: strange. One of the dishes = pasta (or rice) with herbs, veggies, butter and Heinz 57 Sauce… Yep… that’s right… and I got really creative with it. You would not believe how many ways that you can make rice/pasta with chicken/pork add some veggies/herbs and Heinz 57…

Anyway, after our talk, I thought: you know I haven’t made that in months… so I went home and made my favorite Heinz 57 with pasta dish… And I am sure this comes as no surprise to most of you but it was not as wonderful as I remember. Let’s be clear-it wasn’t horrible but I wouldn’t have it EVERYDAY for dinner (which is exactly what I did – for WEEKS)… What the heck was I thinking?

And see this is where my idea stopped-so I stopped writing. This has almost no place in a book. I mean really? Where would I put it and why would anyone care? Pondering these questions would take me forever. Which is why editing is in December. I do have other ideas running through my head right now = such as points of view (yes – POINTS).

points of view

Every character has their own point of view. Even in life this is true. You can take one event and have 100 characters all with different views. They don’t all have to be present for the event – they just need to have an opinion on it. Example:

Event – Protagonist has life changing traumatic event

Protagonist – Depressed, hurt, at times inconsolable, would rather be alone then with friends… But she pushes through everyday, acts as normal as possible (she sometimes has to disappear to a quiet place to be alone until the tears pass – but they do pass and she goes back to whatever she was doing) to achieve her goal (whatever that might be). Thinks her now Ex-SO (for lack of a better term) is an unfeeling jerk. Thinks that he should be there for her like she was there for him when he needed her- but he is emotionally unavailable and incapable of reciprocating love. All she really wanted or needed from him at the time of (and even now) the event was to be held – but he can’t even handle that – she finally sees him as weak. P is hurt by the fact that SO doesn’t even believe what she said to him when she has never lied to him and been very forthcoming and told him things that no one else in the novel knows about. Reader is sympathetic to P.

Protagonist’s Significant Other (pick your favorite variation of dumb ass) – Can’t handle the event – would rather pretend it didn’t happen – decides to never speak to P again so that he doesn’t have to deal with it… Hurt because he doesn’t know what to think. Has been so used and manipulated in his life that he just assumes that everyone does it to him. Even by his own admission P is nothing like anyone else he knows. But he just can’t believe her. Though when he is alone he thinks about it – because deep down he knows she wouldn’t lie to him – he just can’t face the truth right now. But by the time he is able to face the truth will P care anymore or will she have moved on? Reader still sympathetic – but not as much.

P Best Friend – Thinks SO is an asshole. Has been present for all of the stress and hospital and doctors visits that were a result of the event. Gets angry every time  SO acts like a jerk to P because she sees how it effects P. Would like to tell SO to stay the hell away from P but knows that would hurt P more – so says nothing and tries to be supportive. Readers identify with BF.

SO friends – Think that P is pathetic. And who wouldn’t – what? with the story SO has been telling about her… If they knew the truth they wouldn’t be so quick to judge… AND the friends have had the truth right in front of them the entire time. They have seen P while she was ill. How many people run back and forth to the bathroom – THAT much? They know that she wasn’t moving around a lot for a few months – they were present when she needed help lifting the smallest box – and when she took the elevator – instead of the stairs like usual… they have seen her have to walk quickly out of a room (but somehow they didn’t notice the tears start? maybe that’s because they didn’t want to) yet in their world – she is what he made her out to be…

which brought me to – everyone sees what they want to see – because we are all in our own little worlds:

own little worlds

People see things the way they want to. The truth hardly matters in this world (or any other). Most people don’t want to hear it – or believe it. They want to believe what they believe is true and anyone who makes that difficult must be a bad person.

The rest of this had to be edited out.  Because what I wrote after this was harsh and very personal. And that is not what writing a novel is about.

By the way – the above is just a fun example of POV – it’s not part of the novel I am writing – I mean – how boring can you get?

Anyway – now you see why I am having problems with POV – there are just so many of them – and I have been writing them all. My Granny always told me not to judge anyone. To “walk a mile in their shoes”. I try to do that in my real life… however, doing it in a novel may be counter productive.

Who would have thought that writing a blog – when I’m already writing – would be so difficult? Not me!

I finally found a theme that I can work with. It’s not prefect – but it’s not terrible either. It’s actually very *me*. I like to sketch, use watercolor and pastels… and it has somewhat of an order that I can navigate – don’t laugh – it took me 2 days to do this… and it’s brown (the color of chocolate) – it will do – for now.

Welcome to my new blog. I have had several over the years -some more popular then others. This blog is for me. Oh, it’s for you too… but mostly it’s a place where I can vent about the novel I am attempting to write this month.

This novel (and the blog) had a VERY dark start – and I am glad to say I have moved past that. How dark? Well the tagline for the blog was, “revenge is sweet”. Uh-huh… *shakes head sadly at self*. I am now on the right track with my writing. Anyone who can think of a new tagline – please comment or email me.